The Writer's Food

Every writer aspires to write what he or she really thinks and feels. Every writer aspires to eat. This is the crux of the writer’s dilemma. Crux. Comes from the word “cross”. Two lines intersecting and where they cross – where they meet – is the optimum spot to be. Being able to write what you really want to say and having it sell well enough so you can eat and live, that is the writer’s dream.

There is that other meaning of the word “cross”, the real meaning behind all those ornate, pretty symbols in churches – the Roman pre-electric chair, the cross you have to bear. This is when you realize, as a writer, you can’t eat what you want to write. It doesn’t sell. So do you sell your soul to preserve your body? Or do you let your flesh die to preserve your soul?

Ironic that your writer’s voice needs your body in order to speak and be heard. If you have a thought and no one else hears it, does the thought really exist?

Maybe you just write like mad to sell hoping that someday you can write to feel. But will you ever really sell if you don’t feel? So you keep looking for the crux of the matter, that place where your soul speaks to enough other souls that they are willing to pay to hear your thoughts.

Whatever I do, I conclude, I must never sell my soul or I’ll have no soul left to share. Then it comes to me that what I feel – the soul of my writing – is a line, a continuum, not merely a dot. And because I am human, I will someday find that intersect with the continuum of other souls, kindred spirits they have been called. I just pray it happens before I die.

So this blog may not mean much to my readers. That’s ok, because today I’m writing solely to express my soul and not worrying about whether it sells (the literary benefit of blogging). Ah, that felt good.

Now, how do I eat?

Suspended Fingers

Research and writing are not what they were in the good old days when I was in graduate school. “Way back when” I’d search through the wooden library card catalog finger-scanning by author, title and subject, look through shelves for books to see if they really were the ones I wanted, or skim the periodical listings for dated magazine articles. We did have a limited form of low-tech networking beyond our own library through the inter-library loan service, as long as you had weeks to kill. Our advance forms of technology in those days were the archival microfilm and microfiche collections.

I still remember the frantic night when I’d been up for 36 hours rushing to finish my master’s thesis and I felt a sudden panic with a whole mess of pages cut and pasted or cut and scattered on the floor and wondering what on earth I had done. I crashed into a fitful sleep only to awaken realizing I had not, in fact, messed up the mess. I went over to the Methodist Student Center to type the final version on Billy Mack Patteson’s awesome IBM Selectric (with the changeable type balls). Later I finished up at Baylor University’s copy center to print off x number of copies for the professors.

Now all the above can be done on my computer from my office just off my bedroom. From my desk or my stuffed rocking chair, I search the internet to verify quotes, put library books on hold to be picked up later, order used books from a zillion book stores to be mailed directly to me via Amazon or held for me locally at Powell’s. I “cut” and “paste” and print x number of copies without my fingers ever leaving the keyboard of my laptop. I can even send copies just about anywhere in the world simply by clicking the “send” button on the screen.

But one thing has not changed. It takes discipline to write. Inspiration comes and goes. Some days it never even shows up. Only the will to write puts ideas into words, words into sentences, sentences into paragraphs, and paragraphs into articles and books.

I remember one of my professors saying that it is not necessarily the smartest or most gifted students who wind up with the “Dr.” in front of their names. But it is always the most persistent ones.

I don’t know how disciplined or persistent I am – probably a mixed bag like everyone else. (Watch me watch my grass grow when financial reports are due.) But I know this – unless you set a time to write and then stick to it, nothing gets written down. When it comes to writing, inspiration is found in suspended fingers.

"They" say

“They” say you need to blog about your writing. So today I start. I began writing in earnest months ago. Gradually I’m refining my plan and my methods. Two weeks ago I finished the rough draft on my first book with the working title of “Nite Shift” and this week sent it to what I call my Beta Readers. I have found a consultant to help guide me as I prepare a query and book proposal for a literary agent. An author friend has offered to pass this manuscript on to her literary agent.

“They” say that with non-fiction, you only send the first three chapters with the book proposal. If the agent and/or publisher like what they see, they’ll ask for more. Guaranteed they’ll make some recommendations on your content. Since this is to be my first published book, I decided to write the whole thing up front to see how it works. Whatever they don’t want in this book, I’ll save for the future.

“They” say you should have more than one major project going at a time. Which I do. I already have a publisher interested in another book: a seminary wants to publish my doctoral dissertation – as is – except that I’ll write a new introduction. I plan to finish the intro and send off the entire manuscript shortly. I’m also starting to write a narrative nonfiction on living for a decade in a city that grew up on our watch. There are several other book ideas brewing around in my head – all in various concept and research stages.

“They” say you need to set up a website and make your presence felt in other ways in magazines, journals and the internet. Working on all that, too. A local web/graphic designer, Jon Haarstad (jhaasdesign.com) is putting together my website, on which I’ll post this writing blog. And I’ve launched several other focus blogs including www.hnktrailhiker.blogspot.com on personal life and interests, www.hnkjourney.blogspot.com on issues of faith and action, and one on learning to live on the edge (when life pushes you to the brink) at www.squidoo.com/ontheedge. Plus the family and I are launching a commentary and review blog on books, movies, music, culture and society, and modern life at www.k6review.blogspot.com.

“They” say you should set daily goals of how many words you write, not how much time you spend writing. So on days when I am doing a rough draft, I set a goal of so many words – a goal “they” say is a good one. Amazing how that goal helps in overcoming writer’s block. The secret, “they” say, is not taking time to go back and correct or change – save that for later. Don’t interrupt your flow.

So who are the “they”? Well, “they” say you should keep your blog postings to about 500 words (I’m at 465 now), so we’ll save that answer for another day.